rewatching bdg’s buy my bed video every few months is essential. it’s like a good night’s sleep. it resets your brain.
all my mutuals are dragon show posting meanwhile I’m still catching up on all the Saul posting ://
i knoooow that we talk ourselves in circles here on supernatural tumblr but it’s like you are the son of an abusive man who will leave you alone in a motel room for days or weeks at a time with a loaded shotgun and cans of spaghettios and he is your moral compass and your ideal you will never reach and he is your god. and god is an absent father who created the universe and every living thing and then left giving you no guidance and no help and no sign that he returns any of the devotion that you have for him. you are a cosmic being but you are in the motel room with that man who will not pray to god but will pray to you, always you. and dean says my biggest fear is that i am nothing but a blunt instrument in my dead father’s hand and i will spend my life following his orders. and castiel says my biggest fear is the creeping sense that i have questions and doubts and will someday damn everything because i will make my own choices. and then it takes them like twelve years to get together
especially re: eating up savings:
“The less you eat, drink and read books; the less you go to the theatre, the dance hall, the public-house; the less you think, love, theorize, paint, sing, fence, etc., the more you save—the greater becomes your treasure which neither moths nor dust will devour—your capital. The less you are, the more you have; the less you express your own life, the greater is your alienated life—the greater is the store of your estranged being.
Karl Marx, Economic and Philosophic Manuscripts of 1844
depathologizing your own responses to things means no longer worrying about which symptom matches which diagnosis matches which branded treatment model and instead practicing gentle non-judgmental curiosity about what you’re going through from the perspective of someone who wants to fulfill one of the most basic and primal needs for you which is the sensation of being seen and heard
jimmy McGill the man that you are…. (Sticky)(sopping wet)(at the same time)(somehow)








